When I was young I was advised that everyone is allowed to be a bore about one subject. So in the same way I take all the advice I'm given I ignored it and I am a bore on at least 15 topics.
Today's one annoys my wife. A lot.
And in the scheme of things ranks near the bottom of major issues facing humanity. But this stuff does annoy me. I'm not going to even try and justify it.
The packaged loose leaf tea I buy has 'please open the other end' written on it.
The local mall posts a sign that says 'please use side doors due to adverse weather.'
I spose at least they're both trying, but do they mean please? No. They mean either 'you have to' or 'sorry'.
The tea one is dumb. While you can open the thing the wrong way you end up ripping the bag and making a mess - so they're doing this to help you. What they mean is 'Open the other end' OR 'This end doesn't open'. Why are they saying please? They're trying to be polite but it's more about helping us so really they need to get some mojo and take credit for an easy opening package.
The mall is just people trying to be too clever. 'Adverse' how about 'bad' or 'windy'? The main issue is there's no choice either unless you want to walk quite a way.
What these turkeys mean is 'We're sorry ( & the fecking doors are badly designed by an architect who's never been here so they point the wrong way and don't work)' so they should say 'Sorry but you'll have to use the side door because of the weather.' Although this isn't strictly correct - it's not the weather but the doors and the orientation of the doorway. Please might be - 'please don't scale the roof, just follow the arrow.' 'please don't smash the doors, go round the side'. Why don't they say sorry? The staff don't feel it's their fault. Why do they say 'adverse'? They're trying to sound correct, clever or authoritative.
I have better things to do now. Next post will be on the joys of Christmas.
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