I used to try new years resolutions and even had long lists of them.
This year I wanted to do New year's Revolutions instead but seizing control of the winter palace seemed a bit out of reach, (but probably more likely than resolving and then succeeding not having any chocolate this year).
Instead I am opting for revelations.
These are the sort of revelations we humans have that go something like:
"oh you've had a hair cut"
"is that your car?"
'Oh did failing off that balcony hurt?"
"it's raining."
"that'll be the phone" etc....
But heaps more profound
1 Annual Resolutions are inhuman.
There is clearly something wrong with resolutions as we can't keep them. With the best of intent we start out committed to adopting and following goals we set ourselves and within 2 weeks it's like they never happened. My hypothesis is we're not hardwired to keep resolutions, but we are hardwired to delude ourselves with no memory of previous years failures.
2 Accepting that resolutions are meaningless we should go for the doctor when we make them
NB I wondered if I could work the expression 'go for the doctor' (meaning go for the maximum we can get) into conversation so this can be it.
If it's clear we can't keep resolutions, but it's accepted we make them, we shouldn't limit ourselves to ones that are possible.
I'd suggest if you want to make NY resolutions go for:
- I resolve to be 10 cm taller this year
- By 12 February i will have absolutely no body hair and will grow a seal -like wet suit instead
- I will win lotto first division every week for 6 months
- I resolve to bring peace to lebanon and broker an agreement on whether their breads should be thin for wrapping round things or big fat onces you can cut in half
- I will ensure all episodes of Ben 10 and that Jenna Elfman comedy are destroyed forever
Dream large.
3 People will forget you made resolutions
This is a blank cheque to impress people later in the year.
"Oh yes I resolved to not buy any new trousers till 11 March and see I achieved it!"
"I'm very proud as at new year I said I wouldn't steal anything unless it was a (insert description of item your stole here)"
There's a lot to be said for resolutions made in hindsight.
4 Bad stuff will happen - it's not your fault
Despite having huge respect for Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Jeremy Clarkson and Nelson Mandela the idea we can all change the world is deluded. The idea that each one of us is a powerful God-like agent of change is twisted. So bad stuff will happen. We can have our own peace-making, recycling cottage-domination movement but the world changing stuff only works if you define the world in terms of a small number of observer (usually no more than 3).
So this year do what you can. But don't sweat the rest.
5 The world won't end this year. Probably.
I'm no expert (on anything at all actually) but there have been doomsday and end-times prophets since ... they first appeared. One day they'll be right and the world will end. Mostly though they've been wrong. Yes: the north (and south) Koreans are behaving like 4 year olds; yes Muslim, Jewish, and Christian militant fundamentalists are all insane (oh sorry except the Muslim ones); yes the climate is in a really really bad way with global warming; and yes we will probably lose the Rugby World Cup BUT we will probably get through another year.
6 Life happens.
I used to have an album by the Ozark Mountain Daredevils, folk rock bluegrass hillbillies, who had a song called 'It'll shine when it shines". they were right. Sometimes it shines and sometimes it doesn't.
This year it's best just to take advantage of it.
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