Reviews

I have a play on in Wellington at the moment and it is the best, deepest, most layered and polished play I have written and it is being screwed by one or two critics. They can't separate the script from the performance.

Anyway the good news is that I don't have revenge fantasies anymore. I would write a play about murdering play reviewers, but it's been done (The Real Inspector Hound by Stoppard for one). I think about banning reviewers from my plays (been done, by Fo I think). I think about laughing it off - ho ho ho.

In one play about a play about a play I wrote I had fake reviews in the front of house. Just for prosterity here are the surviving ones

“Macbeth” by William Shakespeare
Reviewed by Alan Smithee – Katipo Times

A nice modern tale transported back to 12th century Scotland. Clearly though the plot is clumsily modeled on recent developments in the National Party. Despite this the story has promise.

This promise was lost, however, in a similar way to Shakespeare’s other recent outings; the Beckham’s transported back to Italy as star-struck lovers; or the story of Jonah Lomu badly disguised as a jealous general; or the earlier plots of Shortland Street renamed “Much Ado about nothing”.

All of these plays are far too obvious and a little unbelievable. This is made worse by their excessive length; there is no reason why a modern play cannot be wrapped up in 90 minutes.

Macbeth also suffers from being too obvious. Spurred on by his wife (Gerry Brownlee, ho ho) decides to kill the king (surprise surprise). He gets caught, and brought to justice.

The predictability was lessened with the use of some novel ideas. These included a camouflaged army, a metaphor for the secret plotting of politicians, a device that this reviewer felt failed. This was overshadowed by some non medical nonsense suggesting that someone born via a caesarian is not of woman born. While this assertion about the primacy of natural childbirth was interesting it was totally irrelevant.

The funniest if not the most insulting aspect to the play was portraying the media and the parliamentary press gallery as three old witches. Not the best way to make friends.

Finally though the most telling problem – lots of words and no action. All the action takes place off stage; the murder of Bill English, the battles, and most of the conflict occur off stage.


“The Caretaker” by Harold Pinter
Review by J Browne in the ComPost

This is the latest of Pinter’s plays performed in Wellington and really it should be the last.

Long pauses ensure the action is never fully realized. The internal structure is hampered by slow and repetitive slow revelation of both character and plot.

Mr Pinter has clearly not learnt from comments made by this reviewer and others during the Birthday Party on the need for clear exposition and dialogue. While one actor did his best the other mumbled and paused his way through.

The play drools to a painful conclusion an hour later than the five minutes of plot deserved. Honks like a goose.


“Art” by Christina Rezos
Reviewed by Leslie Locke in the Listener.

A promising premise. Three friends divided over a piece of modern art. A chance to explore the views on modern art.

Although there is plenty of talking, nothing much happens. Gone are the days when plays can be just talking heads. More action is required.

Worse still it turns out the painting itself is simply white, disappointing as it is clearly implausible.